FUMBLERULES

A fumblerule is a self-contradictory rule of language or linguistic style, delightfully and perversely written so that it breaks its own rule.

The term fumblerule was coined by William Safire, presidential speechwriter, author and columnist. In 1979, Safire published Fumblerules of Grammar in his popular column On Language in the New York Times.
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These are some of my favourites:​
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• Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it when its not needed.
• The passive voice should never be used.
• Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
• Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.
• Don't use no double negatives.
• Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
• Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn't.
• Do not put statements in the negative form.
• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
• Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
• If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
• Write all adverbial forms correct.
• It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
• Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
• One should never generalise.
• Be more or less specific.
• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• capitalise every sentence and remember always end it with a point
• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

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